Saving Face in Japan: Understanding Japan's Preoccupation with Face

Japanese language is filled with expressions related to "face."

For instance, "saving someone's face" (顔を立てる) means respecting others and not causing them embarrassment, while "smearing mud on someone's face" (顔に泥を塗る) means damaging their honor and ultimately causing them shame.

Similarly, "having a wide face" (顔が広い) means having extensive connections, and "having a face that works" (顔が利く) implies having influence over others.

Japanese people really do love faces, don't they?

As a child, I never paid attention to my own face or others'. Yet somehow, at some point, Japanese people begin to care excessively about all things face-related.

But why are Japanese people so concerned with face? Let's unravel the factors behind this Japanese preoccupation with face and why it's considered so important.

How "Fear of Shame" Creates Japanese Preoccupation with Face

As mentioned in the expressions "saving face" and "smearing mud on face," Japanese people fundamentally connect "face" with "shame."

As I wrote in the article "Does Japanese Shame Culture Really Exist? A Japanese Perspective on Understanding Shame" Japanese people consider "causing trouble for others" as "shame." And those who engage in behavior that "causes trouble for others" are treated as people who have "smeared mud on someone's face."

Many foreigners might think, "Why not just ignore it?" But in Japanese society, acting in ways that damage someone's face leads to being labeled as "an inconsiderate person who can't be mindful of others," resulting in sanctions like exclusion from the group.

For Japanese people who live in relatively fixed social groups (especially in rural areas, with limited immigration except in major cities like Tokyo), being excluded from one's group can be, dramatically speaking, a form of "social death."

Specifically, for students, this means losing their place in school. For working adults, it means disadvantages in workplace discussions, missed promotions or career advancement, and the risk of stress from losing everyday human connections.

Interestingly, the more one becomes conscious of "saving others' face and not causing them shame," the more reflexively one becomes concerned with "Is my own face being smeared with mud?" and "Am I being shamed by others?"

As a result, Japanese people tend to strengthen their tendency to act while both "being conscious of the other person's face and not causing them shame" and "being conscious of their own face and avoiding shame."

What Actions Can Lead to "Smearing Mud on Someone's Face"?

So what specific actions can lead to smearing mud on someone's face? Of course, there are variations among Japanese people depending on generation, gender, and surrounding environment, but I believe the following major points can lead to damaging someone's face.

The first is "acting in ways that ignore social rules based on age differences." Japan still has social rules rooted in Confucian thinking (which came from China) that older people should be treated with special care.

As a result, not using appropriate honorific language with people older than yourself, or making statements or actions that deny the experience or past achievements that come with age, are considered to be smearing mud on the face of older people.

The second is "acting in ways that ignore social rules based on differences in social status." Until the Edo period (until around the 19th century), Japan had a strict class system that divided people into samurai, farmers, merchants, and other classes. These distinctions have, of course, been abolished.

However, due to limited interaction with foreign countries because of Japan's island environment, and a national character that resists rapid social change, Japanese people still tend to strongly perceive "hierarchical differences in companies and other social positions" as a kind of class difference and act with this consciousness. Therefore, for example, if you "strongly assert your own opinion to your boss, even if your opinion is correct," you risk being labeled as someone who takes actions that smear your boss's face by disregarding the hierarchical relationship.

The third is "acting in ways that ignore the depth of relationship or degree of intimacy with others." Japanese people tend to strongly distinguish between "insiders like family" and "outsiders like work colleagues with shallow relationships or first-time meetings." In Japan's past, there was a high awareness of face even within the insider family circle, such as "maintaining the face of the father as the head of the household." (Of course, even today, some regions and families in rural Japan still maintain this patriarchal thinking centered on the father.)

That said, in recent years, opportunities to be conscious of face within insider groups like family have been decreasing. On the other hand, towards "outsiders," maintaining the other person's face to avoid causing them shame still exists as a kind of Japanese etiquette.

For example, suppose a "colleague you've just met" makes a proposal regarding a new project. In this case, under the condition that you haven't yet built an intimate relationship, even if there are questions or errors in the colleague's proposal, Japanese people are less likely to outright reject the proposal on the spot and may instead take it back for consideration.

These behaviors demonstrate Japanese people's tendency to "maintain face and not cause shame even to people with whom they haven't established a relationship or have low intimacy."

Rationally speaking, there is no need to maintain face for others with whom you have little direct relationship or shared interests. Nevertheless, the persistence of this thinking may stem from the strong consciousness among Japanese people that they are "fellow Japanese" living on a limited island nation.

The Impact of Face Consciousness on Japanese Society

After graduating from university, I lived in New Zealand for a year. It was there that I first experienced the ease and enjoyment of "living without having to be conscious of Japanese-style face." (Of course, I believe that if one lives more deeply abroad, there are implicit rules specific to each country that differ from Japanese concepts of face.)

Comparing with life overseas, I became aware of and surprised by the prevalence of face-conscious behaviors that emerge when living as a Japanese person in Japan.

To people from overseas, Japanese people's face-conscious behaviors might seem roundabout and without merit. However, I believe this "culture of saving face" definitely plays a role in moving Japanese society, for better or worse.

To "save face," you need to understand what the other person wants without verbal communication. This is because asking verbally risks damaging face and is too late.

For example, imagine you're "proposing a new product to your boss." In this case, if your communication method or the amount of information provided doesn't allow your boss to understand or be convinced, you might cause your boss embarrassment and damage their face.

Therefore, to maintain your boss's face, you're required to infer from your boss's daily behavior, not just their spoken words, things like "what proposal method does the boss prefer?" and "in what format can this content be conveyed in a way that's easy to understand?"

These "actions that consider others without verbalizing" ultimately lead to "anticipating the thoughts and actions of others, not causing them shame, and advancing matters smoothly without stress."

However, being too conscious of others' face also creates disadvantages. For example, if you fall into the thinking of "proposing a product that the boss likes in order to maintain the boss's face" in the earlier product proposal example, maintaining face becomes a negative. In this case, the real customers should be "the consumers who will use the product," but the product ends up conforming to one boss's preferences, greatly deviating from the essence of what's needed.

In this way, in Japan, consciousness about "inferring the other person's intentions and feelings in advance to avoid causing them shame and to save their face" sometimes becomes too strong, resulting in discussions and actions that deviate from the essence.

Japan Trying to Break Free from Excessive Preoccupation with Face

That said, working in the IT industry currently, I think Japan is moving, albeit gradually, in the direction of abandoning this "face-saving" culture.

One factor is the "roundaboutness necessary to save face" and "the delay in speed caused by this roundaboutness."

As mentioned earlier, to "save face," one first needs "consideration that anticipates the other person's will and desires and doesn't cause them shame." And while this Japanese culture of anticipation, centered on non-verbal communication, can reduce conflicts and stress that arise from verbal confrontation by avoiding verbal exchanges, it takes considerably more time due to over-reading the other person's emotions.

Furthermore, in today's era of globalization where what each individual desires has diversified, honestly, what can be conveyed non-verbally is quite limited. Therefore, I feel that face-saving behavior to avoid causing others shame will be increasingly excluded from Japanese society because it "leads to ambiguity and misunderstanding."

But personally, I hope that some of the kindness behind Japanese people's valuing of face—the ability to "unravel the other person's emotions from their face and surrounding circumstances that aren't put into words"—remains.

I believe this "consideration for others' emotions" is useful not only in everyday life with friends and family but also in "business that requires creating new things."

As Henry Ford's maxim goes, "If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses." New things aren't born just by listening to someone's words or opinions. It requires breaking down the subtle changes in the other person's facial expressions and actions to read their heart.

I hope that some positive aspects behind valuing face, where Japanese people's preoccupation with reading faces leads to reading the essential heart of the other person, somehow remain.

Thank you for reading.