Understanding Personal Space in Japan: Differences Between Inner and Outer Circles

As a Japanese person, the differences in personal space concepts between Japan and the rest of the world struck me as enormous when I traveled abroad.

When I first visited India at age 20, I was surprised to see adult men walking arm in arm. Later, during my year studying in New Zealand after university, I witnessed foreigners hugging and kissing each other's cheeks in greeting. That's when I realized these weren't just scenes from movies but actual everyday behaviors.

In Japan, while holding hands with parents or friends is common during childhood, these opportunities drastically decrease after a certain age. Except for romantic relationships, most physical contact between Japanese people diminishes as they enter adulthood.

I believe these tendencies to avoid physical contact are greatly influenced by Japanese concepts of personal space, which affect not only physical boundaries but psychological ones as well.

The Japanese Approach to Personal Space

Generally, Japanese people tend to maintain wider personal space. I feel two main concepts influence this expanded personal space in Japanese culture.

The first is the idea that "周りに迷惑をかけない" which means "Don't inconvenience others around you." Japanese people strongly avoid actions or statements that might be unwelcome to others.

If we engage in such behaviors, we consider it "inconveniencing others" and view these unwanted actions or statements as shameful. For more on Japanese concepts of "shame," see my other essay Does Japanese Shame Culture Really Exist? A Japanese Perspective on Understanding Shame.

This belief that "one should not inconvenience others" significantly impacts Japanese concepts of personal space.

For example, hugging involves physical contact, so if the other person doesn't welcome it, it becomes behavior that "inconveniences others" and should be avoided.

This applies equally to psychological personal space - "talking too much about yourself in conversation" or "asking about private information shortly after meeting someone" are considered invasions of personal space and may not be well-received in Japan.

Additionally, Japanese people hold the belief that "people with too little personal space haven't fully matured into adults."

For instance, "continuing to hold hands with parents or friends as an adult" might be judged as childish behavior from someone who hasn't established proper adult personal boundaries.

Similar to the first concept, this thinking also affects psychological personal space. For example, Japanese people use honorific language when speaking with older people or work associates.

This serves as a means to "indicate relationships requiring honorific language and demonstrate appropriate distance." Conversely, someone who doesn't use honorifics and invades personal space might be judged as immature.

Differences in Personal Space Between "Inside" and "Outside" People

While Japanese people generally prefer wider personal space, sometimes that space can suddenly narrow. This happens when the other person is considered an "inside person." Japanese people typically distinguish clearly between "inside people" (family members and close friends) and "outside people" (colleagues at work or new acquaintances with whom relationships haven't yet deepened).

"Inside people" can be defined in various ways, but generally include those who "have known each other since childhood," "have spent a long time together," "share blood ties like siblings," or "are the same or similar age."

Therefore, "family members living together," "blood relatives," "friends from school," "colleagues who joined the company at the same time," and "people from the same local community" are often defined as "inside people."

With people who meet these "inside" criteria, Japanese people tend to maintain completely different personal space than with "outside people." Concrete examples of these changes include "using casual language instead of honorifics," "calling each other by nicknames," "discussing private matters," and "directly expressing feelings of joy or sadness."

Why Can Japanese People Tolerate Crowded Commuter Trains?

By now, you may understand that Japanese people tend to maintain relatively wide personal boundaries, except with close relationships.

So why can Japanese people, who value personal space, tolerate completely spaceless conditions in packed commuter trains during rush hour? (In reality, most Japanese people do hate crowded morning commutes...)

There are two reasons: "following pre-established customs" and "population concentration in large cities like Tokyo."

The first reason, "following pre-established customs," stems from traditional Japanese character. As an island nation with a closed territory and human relationships in regions that become fixed and resistant to change, Japanese people tend to adhere to customs and rules established long ago as traditions.

As a result, Japanese people tend to strongly accept crowded trains as a long-standing custom.

For example, Tokyo city trams exceeded one million daily passengers in 1919, and crowded trains reportedly existed even then. Japanese people who have become accustomed to crowded trains from a young age tend to accept them as "pre-determined and habitual" without strongly objecting.

The second reason is the reality that "population is concentrated in large cities like Tokyo." Compared to countries with vast territories worldwide, Japan still has a population exceeding 120 million as of 2025, despite its downward trend. Within this, Tokyo's population of approximately 14 million accounts for roughly 12% of Japan's total population in a confined area.

I think many Japanese people believe that with such concentration in a small area, crowded trains are realistically unavoidable.

For these reasons, it's fair to say that Japanese people aren't actively embracing crowded trains and the complete lack of personal space, but reluctantly accepting the current situation as a compromise.

Should Japanese People Maintain Their Current Personal Space?

Finally, let me share my own feelings about Japanese people who "maintain narrow personal space with inside people but wide personal space with outside people."

I personally feel that this Japanese approach to personal space has become too extreme between inside and outside circles, and changes are needed.

For example, when "personal space becomes too close with inside people," it can lead to being occasionally disrespectful or developing excessive dependence on close relationships.

In extreme cases, Japan has recently experienced the phenomenon of "引きこもり / hikikomori" (shut-ins) who never leave their homes and sever relationships with anyone outside their family. This situation might partly result from overly strong trust relationships with inside people and not minding inconveniencing them due to excessively close personal space.

Conversely, with "excessively distant personal space toward outside people," people tend to maintain excessive distance from new acquaintances, making it difficult to make new friends outside pre-arranged environments like schools.

Furthermore, this excessive personal space has strong negative aspects in business settings. Business constantly forms new opportunities and accompanying new relationships. Maintaining too much psychological and physical personal space with others as "outside people" risks being unable to respond quickly to new business opportunities.

I've heard that foreigners view Japanese people as "polite" and "modest," which creates a positive impression. However, this might be a superficial image of Japanese people that emerges because they're still treating foreigners as "outside people."

I sincerely hope that environments will emerge throughout Japan where Japanese people and foreigners can stand in the same place, compete under appropriate personal space, and still maintain their reputation for politeness.

Thank you for reading.